AddictionIllusion
by aurla0
Summary: 'The room fills with mist, lavender and indigo shades of cool fog floating in through the doorway and windows, blocking off sight and muting sound. It's just the way he wants it.' A sad oneshot.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KHR**

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><p>Addiction. Illusion.<p>

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><p>The room fills with mist, lavender and indigo shades of cool fog floating in through the doorway and windows, blocking off sight and muting sound. There is no way to see into the room, or properly distinguish shape or colour once inside. Only the mist and its ever changing, ever ephemerally manipulative nature.<p>

It's just the way he wants it.

Quiet footsteps, almost inaudible, are the only sign of life in the room. The whisper of silk against skin. Fabric rustles against fabric.

Air is displaced with a soft sound, the weapon in his hand singing through another mirage. The mist is treacherous, even to him. His long hair sways in the breeze recently created.

He doesn't know where he's going, the ability to discern direction stolen by the enveloping mists. He doesn't listen, or search for some sign that he is nearing his goal, for this mist is made to confuse, bewilder, and more importantly- leave trespassers unknowing, oblivious to what they may have passed by, what they have not found. You are not supposed to find anything here.

But he still has somewhere to go, somewhere he has to be, and so he follows some buried instinct, some soul-deep yearning and knows, when he finally stops, that he has reached his destination.

Hesitantly, heart-rendingly slowly, he reaches out- brushes his hand across skin. It's soft- although the mist has long since robbed him of the ability to feel temperature. He imagines it is warm, the warmth of life, of fire, of strength. But there is no way he can know, because he no longer can tell hot from cold. Love from Hate. Or is it Hate from Love?

Soft locks of hair tickle his fingertips, teasing, trying, torturing. His hair was brown, he remembers, but whether it was the brown of chocolate or soil eludes him. He wants, suddenly, impulsively, to dispel the mist that surrounds him (them?) and see whether there really is another person in this room, whether this body he wants to believe is in front of him is just another mirage, a figment of his imagination that he has willed into existence. To see his eyes again, his hair, his skin, his smile. He wants to, but knows he mustn't.

Because if he observes, if he sees that there truly is no other in this room of illusions with him, then there truly is no one there. No silken locks to comb through, no gentle smile he can imagine the other making in his sleep. _(he__** must**__ be sleeping because what would he do if he wasn't?)_

Because if he observes, if he finds that under searching fingers there is no pulse, in pallid skin no warmth, then perhaps he will actually go insane. Death is final, after all, despite how many times he's lived, because he knows that if you die you **END**.

He doesn't want that, so he mustn't think, mustn't look, mustn't! Because this is all some awful parody of the famous 'Schrodinger's Cat' and he mustn't observe, he won't be the one to shape reality, he won't he won't he _**won't**_!

So he keeps pretending, keeps himself unknowing, unthinking, unsure. So he kisses his cheek (and wonders whether the flesh underneath his lips is stone-cold) and brushes his hair out of his face, and leaves.

He won't observe. He won't create concrete reality, he won't finalize the path this world is heading down.

It's selfish, and this he knows, but at least this way he can pretend that he's still here, even if for only these hours. This time is his, and only for him, and he cannot bring himself to care what happens to the rest of the world, as long as he doesn't have to _know_.

After all, illusions all include some aspect of self-delusion...

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><p><strong>Aurla0: No idea. I'm pretty sure you can all figure out who both the characters involved are.<strong>

**If any of this seems suggestive I actually didn't purposefully make it that way, but you can take it any way you want to.**

**Please review~!**


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